Things My Friends Say

MODESTY:

2010-04-06T20:24:00.000-07:00

"I think I'm a perfect human being."

-Mike Cutt

ON ROMANCE:

2010-04-06T20:07:00.000-07:00

"Um, I mean, I'll take a stupid woman if she's beautiful. Like, I'll love her for who she is, and not for what she says."

-Mike Cutt

ON MUSIC:

2010-03-10T12:18:00.001-08:00

"I don't think the cello's a gimmick. I think it's a big violin."

-Kevin O'Brien

ON GOSSIP GIRL:

2010-03-09T21:51:00.001-08:00

"Oh my God, Nate and Serena are my favorite couple in history. In history! Including my parents!"

-Kathy Miranda

ON THE BABY SEAL I SAW WHILE IN CAMBRIA:

2010-02-19T11:03:00.000-08:00

"If your new boyfriend was a real man, he'd have clubbed the creature and made you a coat right on the spot."

-Nick Francomano

ON KEVIN'S EXPRESSIVE FACE:

2010-02-09T11:43:00.001-08:00

"Yep, Kevin has a lot of extra skin."

-Sean Boulger

ON PORCUPINES:

2010-01-30T01:43:00.000-08:00

"Is there an animal called a porcupine? 'Cause that sounds made up."

-Jeff Gould

ON COLLOQUIALISMS:

2010-01-30T01:38:00.000-08:00

Kathy Miranda: What's that stick in the mud saying?

Jeff Gould: Don't be a stick in the mud.

Kathy Miranda: Oh. Is that like...bad?

DURING A HEATED GAME OF APPLES TO APPLES:

2010-01-30T01:32:00.000-08:00

"Nothing is lazier than a beet! They don't even come out of the ground! They just lay there!"

-Emily Bryson

IN RESPONSE TO A DEATH

2010-01-25T20:20:00.000-08:00

Kathy Miranda: Oh my God, who died?

Joe Bryant: I don't know, some bitch.

SAID IN A CONCERNED TONE ABOUT SUICIDE GIRLS:

2009-12-28T21:45:00.000-08:00

"Are they actually suicidal?"

-Mike Cutt

ON THE LIKELIHOOD THAT WE WOULD BE ARRESTED FOR WALKING DOWN A STREET:

2009-12-17T13:20:00.000-08:00

"Hey, you girls got it going on. You're under arrest!"

-Rachel Rufrano

ON MY LOVE LIFE:

2009-12-07T23:34:00.000-08:00

Me: I'm not single, I'm boy-curious

Vincent Girimonte: If you keep making puns like that you're going to be boy-curious for a lot longer

REALIZING WHAT HE JUST SAID:

2009-11-17T21:58:00.001-08:00

"Don't be afraid if someone comes in your back door in the middle of the night...eew!"

-Steven Carey

ON LEARNING THAT RACHEL HAS DELETED HER FACEBOOK:

2009-11-15T20:23:00.000-08:00

"But if you're not on facebook, how can we be friends?"

-Elise McCutchen

ON LIFE:

2009-11-15T20:21:00.000-08:00

"Ah, I can't wait to die. No, I wanna live! I wanna live!"

-Andy Kneis

ON MTV'S "WORLD'S STRICTEST PARENTS:"

2009-11-10T22:50:00.000-08:00

"This show is like whoooa!"

-Mike Cutt

ON ROBERT DENIRO:

2009-10-29T23:49:00.000-07:00

"Wait, who's that guy from Analyze That?"

-Kevin O'Brien

IN RESPONSE TO A PHOTOGRAPH OF STEVEN, SHIRTLESS AT THE BEACH:

2009-10-26T01:06:00.000-07:00

"I love this picture. It's like a picture that I would put up if you were my boyfriend, but you're not because you're ugly."

-Kathy Miranda

IN SINCERITY:

2009-10-12T16:56:00.000-07:00

"I try to have fun, but I'm not very good at it."

-Andy Kneis

ON AUTOMOBILES:

2009-10-12T16:55:00.000-07:00

"I think if McDonalds was a car, it would be a Kia Sorrento."

-Nick Francomano

AT THREE YOUTHS ON BIKES:

2009-10-12T16:54:00.001-07:00

"Get a paper route!"

-Nick Francomano

ON FOLK MUSIC:

2009-10-07T16:43:00.001-07:00

"I'm Bob Dylan, I'm hangin' or I'm chillin'"

-Steven Carey

ON WHERE I AM FROM:

2009-10-06T22:40:00.001-07:00

"Well, you live in Silverlake, excuse me very much!"

-Kathy Miranda

WHILE DRIVING ON POORLY-LIT BERKELEY STREETS:

2009-10-06T22:38:00.000-07:00

"I'm always afraid on these little streets that someone's just gonna jump out and be like, 'Ugh! You hit me with your car! Give me money!'"

-Kathy Miranda

ON PROCRASTINATION:

2009-10-01T12:00:00.000-07:00

"Hey, we should really get our shit together...like next week or something."

-Kathy Miranda

YOU'RE SO TRAFFIC AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT.

2009-10-01T01:01:00.000-07:00

"I want to leave by six. It's probably gonna be really traffic though."

- Kathy Miranda

ON BEEF'S BEARD:

2009-09-28T13:40:00.001-07:00

"I wonder if he's going to bring that beard to class"

-Andy Kneis

WHEN ASKED WHY HE HUSHED HIS VOICE WHEN SAYING THE WORD "GAY:"

2009-09-28T13:16:00.001-07:00

"People are sleeping. I don't want to wake them up with my gay news"

-Kevin O'Brien

IN RESPONSE TO A SIMULTANEOUS BURP AND HICCUP:

2009-09-28T12:53:00.000-07:00

"Yeah man, if you had farted you probably would have died"

-Jen Perry

IN RESPONSE TO SEAN AND CLAY TALKING ABOUT SONGWRITING:

2009-09-28T11:58:00.000-07:00

"I usually just write mine as poetry. Or as facebook status updates."

-Beef

ON FINDING OUT THAT HER 8AM CLASS WAS CANCELLED ON DOLLAR PBR NIGHT:

2009-09-27T22:03:00.000-07:00

"God just threw me a bone and I caught it. I caught that son of a bitch!" -Kathy Miranda

A CLARIFICATION OF HIS ASSERTION THAT ALL DOGS ARE NAZIS:

2009-09-27T21:51:00.000-07:00

"I like Nazis. I think that's what people don't understand. I meant it as a compliment. Yeah, I like Nazis. I mean, not the whole racism thing, but you know...the organization."

-Nick Francomano

WHILE READING SECTIONS OF ULYSSES ALOUD IN A GROUP:

2009-09-27T21:05:00.000-07:00

"Where's the part when you stick your arm into my vulva, elbow-deep?"

-Drew Evans